get outta my town

Still Saturday...

This place is really kind of boring if you don't have anyone around to be amusing. Grrrr I am so fun when I have back-up. Not only did I have the fun today of getting in a car accident and marring my beautiful Christalmobile, but now I'm stranded in suck. This is just no fun and it's so no fun that I hate it and- Ingrid!

Ingrid walks in through the old creaky front door, sending a woosh of the beautiful weather in with her. Following close on her heels was Ian looking, well, a bit rough in his obviously expired pants and his stained wife-beater and flannel combo.

Man, someone should give him a shower and a clue. I mean, yeah, Amy is a total ass and he has every right to be hurt and all after what she did to him, but seriously! I mean, come on, honey! He's never gonna get past that jerky Amy and find a new hot and not slutty girl unless he bathes once in a while.

Ingrid waves and Ian kind of shrugs as they walk up to the second level to sit with her.

"Hey Paz! How are you holding up after the crash fiasco? Any better than when I called you before?"

Paz shrugs and stirs her coffee. "Yeah, I guess so. I'm being a much better buddhist and trying to not imagine my big fat Docs in that Topknot girl's backside." Paz stands up and opens her arms, making her "poor baby" face, "Come 'ere Ian." He wanders into her embrace and glances back at Ingrid with an annoyed face.

"I'm sorry," Ingrid mouths.

"I can't believe that stupid tramp had the nerve to get her jollies off in my driveway. Yuck! I mean, really, I'm-"

"Sorry, I know. Everyone's sorry and I appreciate your concern, but I'm doing this whole trying-to-get-past-it thing lately, so-"

"Trying to get past it?" Paz says, tossing herself back down onto the chair, "I didn't know `getting past it' involved you and Tevin getting wasted every night at your old place watching Whore of the Rings."

"It's Lord of the G-Strings for your information, Paz, and it's not my fault that Tev is a good friend and understands that I just don't want to keep talking about it." Ian says, sitting down, "The way I see it is like this: YES, Amy is a stupid ho-bag and not at all the loving, caring, socially and emotionally conscious little positive-scout that I thought I wanted to live with and marry. However, it's not gonna get any better if I replay that night over and over in my head until I want to bash my head in with a rusty spoon-"

"Sorry to interrupt the love-fest here, but I'm dying for coffee. Can we please get off this subject for a second and chill out? What do you want Ian? Pie and coffee?"

"Yeah," Ian sighs. "Get me Pecan and remember, you promised to get me the top-shelf pie." He looks at her with mock seriousness and lets a little smile float onto his face.

"No problem, Mr. Grumpy," she smiled back. "I'll go get us a round of yummies and, I swear, I want none of this crappy conversation to be going on when I get back!" She pokes Ian and he feigns being hurt. "That includes you too, Paz. I did not spend my Saturday in a Hipster and Tourist Hell Sandwich to listen to you two bitch all afternoon!" Ingrid struts away to the counter.

Insert uncomfortable pause here as Paz stares down Ian.

"Yes?" he says.

"What the hell was that?"

"What do you mean?"

"I saw that. Man, it doesn't take long does it."

"What do you mean, Paz??"

"You just caught Amy re-defining Expander two weeks ago and you're already all reboundy onto Ingrid?? I mean, Jesus, what ever happened to a mourning period?" I am definitely a very smart and poignant Buddhist.

"Wait a minute! First of all, way to win the prize Miss Vulgarity! Second, I didn't call her, she called me! And there is SO nothing going on here, Paz." Damn girls.

"Oh, ohhhh-kay. Sure, little buddy." Paz sighs, "Have fun on the denial bus, Ian. All I'm saying here is that you rebound on her and I'll totally kick your ass, you dig." Paz pinches his cheeks and ends with a playful slap. "Ooh, she's coming back, new topic. So, I hear you're starting to like rock music now..."

Ingrid returns and sets his pie plate in front of him with a ceramic thud. Paz and Ian look up at her as she sets down his coffee and her own.

"What?"

"Nothing, Ingrid," Paz smiles. "We were just playing like nice children. Oh and Ian was talking to me about how much he loves Foreigner and Ratt now."

"I do not like either Foreigner or Ratt, jerkface. It's some band that Tev gave me a tape of to get out my aggression and YES, I do like it."

"Touchy, touchy."

"Alright you two just stop!" Ingrid sighs, "Man, why did I think this was a good idea?"

Paz rolls her eyes as Ian shoves a gigantic forkful of pie in his mouth. Ingrid stirs in her cream and tears open a pack of Sugar in the Raw.

"Anyways, is hot Jimmy working today? He always seems to make things great in the world," Ingrid sighed and looked towards the counter, propping her head in her hands dreamily.

"No, you sod, and thanks for reminding me!" Paz says, faking a pout. "He's probably off with some immensely hot girl who is totally a bass player in a band and has That Cute Indy Haircut."

"You guys are such saps," Ian says, shoving more pie in his mouth. "If it wasn't for this pie, there would be absolutely no dealing with this conversation. Mmmm Pie."

Ingrid pushes Ian, "You dork. Ok. So, what are we going to do with our day? I mean, coffee and pie and sketching and witty banter and cigarettes aside- we need something to do that doesn't involve moping and certainly has nothing to do with the harbor or here or anywhere in Baltimore. So, who's up for an adventure?"

"I dunno, I'm supposed to meet up with Tev tonight-"

"Oh boo! Tev can come on our adventure too. It'll be like a nice sanity break for both of your livers," Paz says, smiling.

"Nice."

"Come on Ian, please! You know I can't stand to hang out with Paz alone,"

"Bitch!" Paz laughs and gulps down the rest of her coffee, letting the sugary sludge slide onto her tongue.

Before Ian can argue his phone rings.

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posted by the ineffable b @ 9:41 AM